Ah…., well…, I sympathize with you

NormanKelley — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 02:48:00 -0500

御愁傷様です。

ごしゅうしょうさまです。

（ハワイパシフィックプレス掲載）

Funeral

MichikoNakamura — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 16:21:00 -0500

What do you do in an emergency? Read this opening conversation:

Michael: Lisa, there's been an emergency! Your son had an accident and is in the hospital. We have to get there right away!
Lisa: Oh no, what happened?
Michael: I don't know the details, but we should go there immediately!

Usually, if someone has an accident or is sick or the house is
burning, we call it an emergency. The way to say that is:

"There's been an emergency!"

If there is an emergency, you should try to get to the hospital as soon as possible.   When you arrive at the hospital, you should ask the nurse where your relative or friend is.    There are different parts of the hospital reserved for certain kinds of patients. For example, the ICU. That stands for メintensive care unitモ. This means that the people in there are very sick and might die. Read these example sentences:

"Excuse me nurse, what room is Jeff Foster in?"

"He's in ICU now and no visitors are allowed"

In very critical situations, only family members are allowed to see the patient. Read this next conversation:

Michael: Did you hear about Jeff?
Michiko: No, what happened?
Michael: He passed away suddenly yesterday.
Michiko: How did he die?
Michael: We don't know. He just fell over and his brother called the ambulance. The paramedic tried CPR but he couldn't be revived.
Michiko: Do you think he died from natural causes?
Michael: Maybe not. His family wanted to do an autopsy because it might have been food poisoning.

People die from a lot of different things. They can die because of health reasons, natural causes such as old age, or unnatural causes such as being shot, poisoned, or strangled. If you want to know the cause, you can ask:

"What did he die from?"

"How did he die?"

or

"Did he die from natural causes?"

If you suspect something was wrong, you could have an autopsy done. This is when a doctor or coroner examines the body to find out the cause of death. Read this example sentence:

"They did an autopsy on him"

If someone dies, you can comfort the relatives. Read this short conversation:

Michiko: Mike, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother.
Michael: Thanks. At least he went quickly.
Michiko: If I can do anything, just let me know.
Michael: You're a good friend.

Some things you can say to a person who has lost a loved one are:

"I'm sorry to hear about your brother."

or

"I'm sorry. He was a good man."

If this is your first time in America, you might not know what to do
if you go to a funeral. Read this next conversation:

Michiko: I just heard about Billy's death and I want to go to his funeral. Can I?
Michael: Sure. Didn't you read the obituary?
Michiko: No, what did it say?
Michael: It said friends may call from 6 to 9:00 p.m. at St.Paul's church.

Read these example sentences:

"I read about his death in the obituaries"

"I heard about his death by word of mouth"

"I heard about his death on the news"

What should you wear to a funeral? In Hawaii, many people wear casual attire or sometimes you may see aloha attire. Casual means dress or collared shirts, or dresses. Aloha attire requires aloha printed clothes. Read this next conversation.

Michael: Michiko, how should we dress for the funeral?
Michiko: Just dress casual.
Michael: Do I have to wear black?
Michiko: No, that's formal attire.

Read these example sentences:

"How should I dress?"

"What should I wear?"

"What's the attire?"

In this conversation, the woman said,

"It's up to you."

This means that it's your decision.

There are different ways to be buried. Either in a "coffin" or "cremated".   A coffin is a long wooden case. Some people are buried in one of these. Others choose to cremated. That means to be burned to ashes. Then the ashes are kept or thrown in the ocean. Now, let's practice these sentences. Read these example sentences:

"She was buried in a coffin"

"He was cremated"

The funeral service can be at a church or mortuary. What do people do at funerals? They may sing a little, pay their respects to the deceased, and someone will give a eulogy. A eulogy is someone talking about that person's life. Let's read this converstation between two people sitting next to each other at a funeral:

Michael: Hi. Are you a friend or relative of Billy?
Michiko: I'm his aunt. How about you?
Michael: Billy and I worked at the same company.
Michiko: Don't you think it's such a shame, to die that young?
Michael: Yes, I heard that his family is taking it very hard.

There's one thing that you should never say to a family. That's:

"It's a shame he died so young."

That will make them feel very bad because most people want to live as long as possible. Here are some other sentences that have good intentions but might make the family feel worse:

"He's better off now in heaven."

"At least you have your other children."

When you don't know what to say, don't say anything. A hug or a handshake can be more comforting than words. Some families suffer and mourn more than others. We say that they are taking it very hard.

Now, read this next conversation:

Tracy: Sniff, sniff (Crying sounds and sad voice) Hi Michael.
Michael: Tracy, I really feel for you. My condolences to you and your family.
Tracy:   Thank you for your support.
Michael: And if there's anything I can do, just let me know.

People try to comfort others with these phrases:

"I feel for you"

"My condolences to you and your family"

After the funeral service, if you choose to go to the burial, you will be given a small flag or a ribbon to put on your car. The "pallbearers" take the coffin and put it in a "hearse". When the body is buried, family members visit on special occasions such as memorial day or their birthday. Most people leave flowers or other things such as pictures. Now, read this next conversation:

Michael: Those are beautiful flowers.
Michiko: Thanks. My late husband used to give me gardenias all the time.
Michael: My wife used to love all kinds of flowers. How long have you been a widow?
Michiko: Oh, about 6 years now. How are you holding up?
Michael: It's been tough but I've had a lot of support from my family and friends.
Michiko: That's good.

When a woman is married and her husband dies before her, she is called a "widow". A man who outlives his wife is called a "widower". If you talk about someone who died, you can say "late".   Let's practice those words. Read these example sentences:

"I'm a widow"

"He's a widower"

"My late husband passed away last year"

After your loved one passes away, you will probably have a tough time. You'll need to be supported by someone or do something to get your mind off your loved one's death.   You can ask this question:

"How are you holding up?"

The man replied with this sentence:

"It's been tough but I've had a lot of support from my family and friends"

When a person dies, their family usually gives away or throws away old belongings. They might keep a few things for memories. Sometimes people feel sad for a long time. We call that "mourning or grieving." Read this final conversation:

Michael: How's Diana? Is she all right? I haven't seen her in months.
Michiko: She's still grieving over Bob.
Michael: Poor thing. Let's go visit her.
Michiko: O.K.

Read these example sentences:

"She's still grieving over Bob"

"She's in mourning for her daughter Sher

大切な方が、心臓発作（心筋梗塞）で亡くなりました。

ShuzoNakamura — Fri, 02 Feb 2001 20:53:00 -0600

先日、日本から緊急の電話がかかってきました。いつもお世話になている大切な方が、亡くなったというのです。急遽、予定を変更して、日本へ帰国することにしました。しかし、その日は、当地で親しくなったアメリカ人ご夫妻から招待を受けている日でもありました。どのように伝えればよいものか？　たどたどしい英語ではなく、きっちりした英語で、大切な方の死を伝えたいと思ったことでした。

日本では、「永眠」といった言い方があり、「眠る」という言葉を使いますが、英語では、子供が、"Grandpa went to sleep forever." ／「おじいちゃんが死んだ」／とか、重病のペットを案楽死させる時、"We had to put our dog to sleep."／「私達の愛犬を殺さざるを得ない／といった場面で使います。以下、少し、表現例をあげてみましょう。

昨日、私の大切な方が、心臓発作（心筋梗塞）で亡くなりました。（一般的表現）

( myocardial infarction—-心筋梗塞)

（宗教的表現）

お葬式の為、日本へ戻らなくてはなりません。

2/2/2001

（ジャパニーズビーチプレス連載）

茶飲みトーク: Tag Funeral

Ah…., well…, I sympathize with you

御愁傷様です。

Funeral

大切な方が、心臓発作（心筋梗塞）で亡くなりました。